Tale of the Tape: Lane Kiffin vs. Sarah Palin
Tim Brando recently compared Lane Kiffin to Sarah Palin. That got us thinking, how would Palin and Kiffin actually stack up? The results are below:
Party: Given that UTK averages about 100,000 people to their parties and right-wing political folk had to lie about their 100,000 person Tea Party total, well ... Advantage: Lane Kiffin
Energizing the Base: All due respect to Kiffin, Palin actually made half of the nation believe that she could assist John McCain in slowing down the steamroller that is Barack Obama. Advantage: Sarah Palin
Downfall: Look, I'm a stupid, proud, arrogant, self-indulgent bastard. Just like my man in Knoxville. But you can't stop hope and change from winning any more than you can stop people on the internet from running with the Obama poster meme. Advantage: Sarah Palin
Counterpart: You don't have to be a Florida fan to know that we'd be better off with Urbie running the country than Biden. Advantage: Lane Kiffin
Result of Last Gig: On one hand, Oakland is awful. On the other hand, Alaska is awful. But I'll take "dark six months out of the year" over "the third best football team in its own state." Advantage: Sarah Palin
Accusation of Choice: Who's more important to the continuation of our culture and society? Soon-to-be highly-paid athletes who have been coddled since they were in middle school and are undoubtedly learning that abusing the system is the best way to get what you want ... or old people? Yeah, I thought so. Advantage: Lane Kiffin
Following a Western Kentucky win: Sure, Kiffin lost a very small battle right afterwards to UCLA, but it's not like Palin won California either ... Besides, at this point, she's the only one who's actually lost in Florida. Advantage: Lane Kiffin
Elderly Ex-Boss: It's not even a question -- no one's worse than Al Davis. Advantage: Sarah Palin
Trophy Spouse: It's not even a question -- no one's hotter than Layla Kiffin. Advantage: Lane Kiffin
Wants 13-year-olds to Commit to: 15 times out of 10, everyone chooses "having to attend Tennessee" over "not getting any sex." It's science. Advantage: Lane Kiffin
Famous Quote: Sadly, there's a better chance of Alaska and Russia colliding in the next 48 hours than Tennessee beating Florida. Advantage: Sarah Palin
A late geographical surge almost helped Palin tie it up, but, as you can see, Kiffin wins the head-to-head (mainly because of his wife -- relatively sad), but, just as Brando implied, they are in fact a lot more alike than people realize.
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